I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
