just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.