sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
