I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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