I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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