she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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