I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize
