he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i think i just lost a toe
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
