I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
