tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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