That's intense
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
