I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
