3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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