I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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