where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
