before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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