Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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