his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
