I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
