tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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