I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize