brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
