Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
