How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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