don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
