is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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