Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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