So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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