nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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