He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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