I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
