Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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