What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
