Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
