it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Text me some of your sweat
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