What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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