I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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