Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
