Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
