he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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