haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
