So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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