Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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