im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
