wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
