Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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