i think my tv is drunk
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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