Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
