I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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