Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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