so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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