I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
