yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
