These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
