she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
