3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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