ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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