Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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