Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
