I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
why is half of my head shaved?
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