She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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