i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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