i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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