We won't sleep together?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
