I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
