i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
