I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
